It's simple, not easy.

If any one from Mama Lucia's reads this blog, I want to tell you you don't know how good you have it. My goodness, this place I am in is completely off the wall. The owners may not be quite as bad as Len and Barbara - they don't fight much, but they do screw things up whenever they feel like something needs to be done. But what makes you lucky is that Len and Barb actually care about their restuarant. These two care more about making sure no one steals from them than about making their guests happy. In fact, unless the guests are French, I don't think they give two thoughts about anyone's dining experience.

Today is a milestone for me. My phone bill is due tomorrow, and I have enough money to pay for it! I'm not going to though, yet, because I don't know if when I show up for work tomorrow the doors will be locked or open. It could be frustrating as hell that I have finally broke even, and my income could dry up at any given moment. So I am going to save everything for as long as I can with a weather eye for feeding myself. I say it could be frustrating, because I'm really not frustrated. I am happy. I know I am being taken care of. Everything will be ok.

In AA they say god will do for you what you can't do for yourself. Thing is, you have to do for yourself. Funny thing is, you don't always know what you are capable of doing for yourself. But don't worry, god will let you know... these are the lessons that you keep repeating until you learn them. This life really is an education that you enrolled in before you chose your parents. You and god sat down, reviewed your spiritual progress through all your other lives to this point, and decided what circumstances would give you the opportunity to learn the most. Actually, god is a sort of guidance counselor/teacher/lifeguard. And you can depend on her for your whole life, for everything. That's why I am here... to show you that god loves you.

No, I'm not getting any sort of savior complex. I make so many mistakes... but now I am letting anyone who will listen know about them so that, if they want, they can trust a little more. If I can do it, so can you.

Today a friend asked me when I would be getting my boat. "Whenever god let's me", was my response. And really, your other lives are happening at this moment, and all of your soulbrothers and sisters are co-existing and co-evolving at the same time you are. We evolve together. What you learn helps me. What I learn helps you. In fact, I'm pretty sure we are all expressions of the same divine existence. You and I are simply the manifestations of god's thoughts in his infinite being. We really are one. Our seperateness is an illusion, and truly, our original sin is thinking our self's, in their individualness, are real.

Now, mama lucia employees, in the morning after you read this, when you go to work and see len and barbara, I want you to remember that they are both part of you. If you can love them, you are loving yourself, and in turn, you are drawing yourself closer to god. How's that for a nice way to start your day? Atleast they speak english! And I do the same thing; I try to love the sneaky, lying, stealing, condescending owners, because they are expressions of myself.

When you dream, all of the characters are really parts of you. When you live, everyone you are in contact with are really expressions of your godself. The ones you hate are manifesting what you hate about yourself. The more you can love everyone, the more you love yourself, and reduce the seperateness between you and me and god.

I think I've said enough for tonight. Thank goodness I only have to remember going through this life once. Tomorrow is another day.