Wow, what a day. It began last night when I went out dancing to live reggae with a friend. We went to a couple of places, danced until five am. I had so much fun. Dancing is so theraputic, I was feeling it into the afternoon.
I was awakened by a text from the restuarant club promoter to come to the restuarant to talk to him. I was hoping for something like "mark, you're now the general manager, and we've decided to give you a huge signing bonus". Not really, but it felt like it could be spectacular. Turned out to be that they want to fire the cokehead waiter and move me to dinner shifts. But before I could get there, at 11:45, my trainee wigged out and quit/fired herself. They had even changed the schedule; mark has today off, and works alone again on days for the rest of the week. If they would just let me hire my replacement... actually, that's a good idea.
In fact though, the news was spectacular. The real news was that the promoter is now letting the club go a little because it's doing well, and he is ready to jump in to the restuarant. Of course he is also positioning himself for 01 Nov 2010, but that's good because we work well together. I finally have some help, and from someone the owners like and trust enough that we can actually make some real changes and turn it into a great restuarant.
I bought a tarp for my truck today, then went to Boston Market. I had the first hot, almost home cooked meal I've eaten in over two months. And it cost less than Subway. I will be taking the 25 cent local bus up to the other end of South Beach much more often. As I was eating, I paused to reflect on where I've been since 28 July 2010. I had a sudden, overpowering feeling of gratitude. I nearly cried.
Played around with the tarp for awhile, and must say I am very satisfied with my initial rigging. I think it will handle your average tropical storm, and I have a few days to refine it before hurricaine Paula gets here. I still need to find a way to button up from inside, and I will. I was going to take a picture to post, but it's form looks like trailer trash. It's function though, is beautiful in it's quality. Robert Persig would appreciate it, I think.
I feel myself slowly becomming human again. When I chose to stay here, I was reduced to a dirty, old alcoholic, homeless busboy in the eyes of those around me. In fact, I think it was a sort of a purification. I stripped away some of my ego, my self, that thing that seperates me from god, and started rebuilding my life from a place where simply being here and staying alive each day was a victory. I identified strongly with the feral cats I would see around, and with the birds. Today my truck bed is closer to being all-weather, I am on the verge of paying my first bill on time, I have friends, strong faith, and a job that pays me for serving others.... man, I just got hit with another wave of gratitude. I feel like I want to sob for about 15 minutes. It may not seem like much, but I am feeling very blessed, indeed.
Today started last night when I danced with a very good friend to music that I love until I couldn't dance anymore. Dancing is a celebration of life, of your body, of your spirit. Tomorrow morning I go back to work with all it's problems and stresses. Everything changes.... nothing stays the same. I am comming to depend on that when things feel bad, and remind myself of it when things are good. We are all being taken care of according to our own needs. Trust that, and learn. I tell myself this every day.
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