Guess I'm back online...

It appears that I need to write. By posting this blog, sending my thoughts into the ether where anyone can read them, as opposed to writing them in a journal where no one is supposed to read them, I create a framework in my head for my experiences that is based on living the good life. A life carried by god. This is not a bitch book. I am comming to redefine it as a sort of ship's log, without the ship.

I want to talk about my experience of life, how I feel subtle divine intervention through my daily existence, and how I cope with my experiences when I don't feel so joyful. I want to share my experiences trudging the road to happy destiny. And I don't need anyone to read it. If you happen to tune back in, and like what you read, still, feel free to share it. But I'm not going to tell anyone, many people, that I'm writing again, just because I'm not writing to an audience. I am loging my travels, sharing what I learn with the next guy who happens on to the same stretch of road for a short time.

Writing about my life when I know someone else will read it makes me think about what an outside observer might think, and by extension, how I might be judged by god. Now, I don't believe in any kind of reckoning when you die. I believe you create the circumstances of your life, and consequently your afterlife, if there is such a thing. We assemble the elements of our existence one piece at a time, ultimately creating heaven, hell, or something in between, while we are here at this time, in this life.

But everything we do, every thought we think has a ripple effect in our lives. My life anyway. Lately, I keep hearing echos from my past reverbirating through my present. Buddha said if you want to understand the past, look at the present, for it is the effect of the past. If you want to understand the future, look at the present, for it is the cause of the future.

How I conceptualize my daily experience has everything to do with how I respond to it, and consequently what I create. By writing to you, I have to get outside myself, and be a little more objective... admit when I am wrong sometimes, and recognize when god gives a little nudge to my life. If I keep these things to myself, it is too easy for me to start exaggerating this, minimizing that, and before you know it, my reality is so far off base that it's too much to bear and I start using chemicals to tolerate the dissonance. That's why I'm writing tonight.

I haven't used, haven't even gotten close, but I have noticed myself thinking things, going down paths that I know I shouldn't be on. I stopped writing this blog because I figured people reading who were waiting for me to get my boat would be bored. I have decided to start again because I will go crazy if I don't. So if I bore you, I understand, don't read. But I'm gonna keep writing until it is time to stop again.

So I guess the blog has evolved from a homeless guy trying to liveaboard, to just a guy trying to liveaboard, sharing his neuroses and divine inspiration as he goes. Not sure is there is much more of a theme than that. Just one more voice, but I'm affraid I have to speak it out loud.

So I have so much I want to tell you about. The waitress who has to yell all the time to define herself, my tribulations with the woman I live with, the holidays on south beach, why I want a eukaleile (sp?)... I have to save something for tomorrow. But I will mention how much I like living somewhere where so many languages are spoken. Its the same reason I like to be abroad. Most of the time I find people talk about really stupid stuff. They often talk just to justify their existence, to prove they are here, maybe they are affraid to disappear, I don't know. I do know that it is hard to tune out the conversations around me, but when they are in a different language, I can just attend to the musical qualities of the voice without being bothered by meaning. I hear the emotion of communication without being distracted by the content. I like that.

So blogland, I'm back, for what it's worth. You can click on my link and hear another opinion about living on south beach. We all know what opinions are like, everyone has one. But hey, I plan to have fun. Writing about my life keeps it fun. If you are reading, I hope you have some fun too.

Cool breezes, clear skys, the wind at your back, and a sail to catch it with. ;)

P.s. pictures to come....