Fwd: Nothing new under the sun

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mark kilburn" <mkilbu01@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 14, 2011 9:33 PM
Subject: Nothing new under the sun
To: <go@blogger.com>

So my ex-wife has somehow found my new email address, and she has my phone number (I haven't changed it since I got my first cell phone nine years ago), and she has decided it would be fun to register me for every online promotion and mailing list she can find. It started with confirmation of my profile on match.com. actually, no, it started with registering me with publishers clearing house,then match,com, then tax relief, AT&T, vonage, and a few others that I forget now.

Today I've received about 12 junk email promotions, and easily 20 phone calls.

I spent about 15 minutes unsubscribing to mailing lists, and maybe 20 seconds clearing the record of missed calls. I figure she had to spend two or three times that registering me, so I'm ahead. She doesn't know I have plenty of practice ignoring calls from bill collectors. Now there's an aggressive bunch.

A couple years ago I had a pretty nice 50K/year hotel management job. My general manager was transferred, and they brought in a very nasty replacement. This person hated me before they even started the job. It took five months to get rid of me. I had a sizable credit card debt from youthful indescretion that I had contracted a debt management company to help me get on top of. I was doing pretty well for close to two years until I got fired.

I talked to the debt management company about my change in circumstances. They recommended I file bankruptcy, and referred me to a lawyer. Said I would get a discount. The lawyer said "no problem, we can take care of all of your debt, and it will only cost you $1500... up front". Well, if I had $1500, I probably would have tried to negotiate with my creditors. Since I didn't, I became banckrupt without filing for court protection. I just stopped paying.

Talk about a beehive... for a couple months, I got calls every 20 minutes, from 8:30 am until 9:00 pm. Holidays excluded. Eventually, most of the companies sold my accounts to debt collectors and wrote me off as bad debt. The collectors continued to harass me by phone for a few more months. But even they seemed to have limits.

I still get a few calls a week from automated systems, and maybe three a month from attorneys. And I still can't afford to file bankruptcy.

Anyway, my point is that now my ex-wife is harassing me, but she doesn't have a chance. It just tells me this is the worst she can do. I'm sure I could be found, but it would take a little time and money. More than anyone would get if they eventually did find me.

I went off the grid awhile ago. Now I have a job, and someone might eventually garnish my wages. They might take my tax refund. But I live on tips, and they can't touch those.

I don't know, I generally prefer to play by the rules. But when the rules make it impossible for me to play, I have to quit the game. So my credit score is in the toilet. I don't need credit. If I can't pay cash, I can't afford it. The only thing I want to own is a cheap boat. I expect to work until I die.

An honest days work for an honest dollar. I can live with that. When I can't work, I will die. And if you want something from me that I don't owe you, you are going to be waiting a long time.

I'm not beligerant. I don't expect anything from anyone. I don't want anything I don't earn, and I will always give to avoid conflict. But I have limits. I have a right to live my life unmolested. And if you molest me, I have a right to avoid you. My intention is to live a quiet life, sharing peace and love where and when I can. As long as I follow that path god will watch my back. He has already shown me.

So I am watching with detached humor to see how much my ex-wife really hates me. It has been three years or so since she divorced me, five since we have talked, and six since I've seen her when I went to europe to support her when she burried her mother. I can't help feeling sad for someone who can blame someone else for their misfortune for so long. I did it with my family, my parents, for a long time. It was very liberating when I finally let go of all expectation that anyone would rescue me. I do pray that she will find the same peace. And in the mean time, I can ignore more phone calls and unsubscribe to more promotions than she can sign me up for.

I'm guessing one or two months.

Work is the same. I made my signature caesar salad with grilled chicken tonight for my roommate who still has a cold. Went to the beach for a little while. Its january, and the ocean is still there. The waves still pile on to the shore, and the moon still moves from east to west every night. I'm still alive, and I am grateful.