Yup, I'm still ok. I didn't move out. We had a couple pissed off days, but in the end we talked it out and came up with some rules we both agreed on and could both live with. She's my friend again, and I'm glad.
She has a friend who she thinks she could love. This friend might come here in a couple months. My roommate is nervous. She's considering a relationship, and even though it is uncertain, and a long way away, she is confronting her own vulnerability. I am happy for her, and I hope it happens. She deserves someone good, and I can't imagine leaving her alone. We will see...
A mutual friend has a scooter he is trying to get rid of. I've been looking for a project, other than my truck, and I'm thinking about getting this scooter and learning how they work. I think I could have some fun with it.
My grandmother asked me why I always have trouble with others. It was the kind of deflating, off-handedly cruel remark she is known for. The kind that makes women new to the family cry. When she said it, several smart-ass, and equally cruel responses came into my head, but what came out was "I don't know grandma ginnie, maybe that's just life". Maybe I'm a loser because I take chances and develop relationships with slightly unstable but interesting people. I definitely don't take the safe choices, almost as a rule. What fun is life if you already know what's going to happen? Why would you want a mcdonalds on every corner?
I've found myself lately getting irritated with all the childish behavior around me. Its something you have to deal with eventually on south beach. Pretty soon after you decide to be a responsible adult here you realize there aren't many who share your values. When a savings account is more important to you than a cool bicycle, you suddenly have a misplaced set of values. You can either accept being uncool, or move twenty blocks in any direction.
South beach is like neverneverland. I haven't met peter pan yet, but I have met quite a few who wannabe.
Our cat is in heat again. We have a week or so of her driving the still-sexually-immature jack russel puppy, billy, crazy to look forward to because my roommate is against animal birth control. I'm just glad I can close the bedroom door and let her deal with those unsatisfied female hormones. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe she will have a chance to work on some of her own stuff. I feel so... for her.
Part of me wishes I could feel that again too. But I've found my soulmate. I keep looking, but it seems all I'm really doing is waiting for her to come back to me. I sure don't want to be with someone who cares about how much other people are looking at them. And that's all I seem to find here. Its really crazy, and funny if you have the heart to laugh at, the lengths people here go to to get others to look at them.
I go nuts when I have to tear the bartender away from his facebook to make me a damn espresso. Sometimes I just make it myself. Afterall, he has another job, and I know this gig is just to earn a couple extra bucks in his spare time. Still, this is my bread and butter, and when you make my table wait because suzyQ says iloveyou, I gonna get a little miffed.
So I'm still here sportsfans. Living quietly in a land of rock stars. Happy to be me and to have my simple problems. My belly has once again become my biggest problem. I worry about working out enough and quitting smoking. Though I am curious to see how this frustration with the superficiality of south beach plays out. I'm sure not going to change it, and I'm not moving. I'm here to give good service to all the children of the world who come here to play, so they will tip me well, so I can buy my boat, so I can sail away and be an adult somewhere else.
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