This is one of my favorites. My former roommate is designing these really cool mannequins. (They are for sale...)
I've met a new friend who lives in my building. She's spanish, lives in Ibiza. She is in her second year running a company that has two boats she throws party cruises on, in and around the island of Ibiza, in the summer when it is season there. She is working here in the off months at the clubs making money in our season. She's been working very hard promoting her party boats, and has told me about her business. She is another person creating something with her hard work, immagination, and passion.
Tonight she told me I shouldn't be a waiter, essentially because I have a brain and a very positive energy. Her words... she said I should be making more money creating. I said I am a writer.
And I am a writer, sort of a philosopher, sort of a scientist, sort of a journalist, sort of a buddhist. I am sort of a lot of things. That's how I've been since I was a child driving my parents crazy because I skipped from one interest to another without building anything. But I was building a knowledge base. I still am.
I've had a couple careers, and have always done well, but I still haven't found it. I have honestly thrown myself into massage, counseling, science, mathematics, serving, hotel and restuarant management, the military. And even though each of those endevours is a real part of me, I'm not committed to any of them. It's like I learn what I need until life moves me somewhere else.
I look at the lives of people I know, love, and respect, who have stayed with one career, in one place. Nearly all of them have loving families that they support, and who support them. They have solidity, and they are part of the backbone of american society. And I'm just different. I've been called a con-man, and I've called myself a monk. And the truth is somewhere in between. I'm still exploring, not lost, just looking for my place.
I'm getting excited about some work I've been doing on a computer. Not my phone, a laptop. I've been increasingly paranoid about my eidentity and my lack of eprivacy. No doubt due, in no small part, to my ex-wife's 14 month spamming campaign against me. No, she hasn't stopped.
I'm not giving up this identity, but I am working on a private, and moderately secure platform that I can use to start working again. I know that's vague, but I'm afraid that's the way it has to be for now. To be truthful, I don't like the way people freely give up their privacy and make so much of their lives public. I have nothing to hide (I've sure said enough here to scare anyone away and disqualify myself from any public office), but I will tell you what I want to tell you when I want to tell you. There is a common feel to me between the facebookers and the fundamentalist [blank] (you name the extremist cause/religion). Social networks that want me to broadcast where I am, what I'm doing, what my interests are, where I eat, etc., etc., scare the hell out of me. With such a rich informational environment, am I the only one who worries about stalkers and serial killers? I will share all that stuff with my friends. The people I have met face-to-face, have shook hands, hugged, or kissed, and felt their energy. I don't make friends by clicking a button. I need to know a little more about you before I tell you everything about me.
I'm maybe a bit naive. I'm not in the scene. I'm just a guy trying to make it day by day. I have goals, I have friends, I have interests. But if you (I'm speaking to megacorporations here) want to know the details, you are going to have to ask me, first of all, and second, pay me for sharing my personal data. That is my elife, and you have no right to my personal information/habits/contacts/interests. So here is one of my points tonight; stop allowing big brother to make millions from the information he collects about your activities with absolutely no return compensation. In fact, some of you actually pay him for the service.
I am working on a private space where I can build a private database that I can use to write more effectively. Big things are happening in the world. I want to be a part of it. I just want to create a self that is relatively safe from eattack before I start to say what I want to say.
This posting is rambling and disorganized, and I'm not going to change it. That is the nature of this blog. I'm writing off the cuff, on my smart phone, about getting by day by day under difficult circumstances. The message is meant to be positive, I'm better off than so many. I want to transcend circumstance and speak to the common knowledge in all of us, no matter what our position in life.
I haven't written in several days, and writers have to write. They also have a predisposition toward self-condemnation. This posting sucks. If you have read all the way through it, I'm sorry. I will try to write again sooner, and better.
Hey, we all have off days, right?
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