Tuesday, February 15, 2011

things always work out

My horoscope in the miami herald yesterday said I should buy that whatchamajigger that I've been wanting. I thought it meant my boat, but I before the night was out I bought a pair of earphones for my phone. The ones that came with it were uncomfortable and they were difficult to keep in my ears. The ones I bought are comfortable, they fit securely, they sound very good, and they have rubber covers so I can run with music if I want. I spent more than I normally would have, but the horoscope said I should, and I am very happpy with them. Maybe I will let the miami herald be my oracle...

If reincarnation really happens, I want to come back as a tree, or maybe as a chihuahua.

The manager that I work with the most assigns sections each day based on who comes to work first. I figure that's fair; reward the ones who want to work. This morning I arrived 15 or 20 minutes early, like always. One of my coworkers was already there, she drops her daughter off at daycare early, and always arrives early. I clocked in and started setting up. She texted, or surfed the internet, or whatever for another 15 minutes before she started working. When we were about to open the manager asked me who was here first. I said I was, I figured the question was who was working first...

We'll, that's not what she figured, and she got pretty pissed. When the three of us were together trying to resolve this descrepancy, I said she was, in fact, here first, but I was working first. That floated like a lead baloon with her. He gave the best section to her. No worries, we all get what we need, and there is enough for everybody. Atleast that's what I think, but not everyone shares my view. She was actually really mad at me. I tried to tell her I wasn't trying to steal anything, that I was speaking the truth according to my best understanding. She didn't buy it. She treated me like I was her ex-husband trying to take advantage of her.

Well, I don't like conflict, and I don't like hard feelings. I tried again to clarify my feelings with my coworker, but my attempt didn't just fall on deaf ears, I could see that anything I said would only aggrivate her and make her respond aggressively. I let it go and focused on serving my guests while staying out of her way.

By the end of the day we were sort of speaking again. At the end of the day I sold a lot more than she did.

If reincarnation really happens, I don't want to come back as a woman. But knowing my god, that's probably what he'll do to me. Maybe I was a woman in my last life? I was reminded today of my roommate who still refuses to be my friend again. She told me I should be more careful of what I say. I thought about that a lot today. Was I inconsiderate of my coworker? Was I following a subconscious personal adgenda?

No, I spoke the truth to my best understanding. I did assume that giving the best station to who arrives first was a reward for job commitment. Apparently that's not exactly true. Apparently today I walked square into a large pile of dhuky. Oh well, what're ya gonna do? Today I learned again that everyone doesn't see things like I do. And god took care of me anyway. I have everything I need. It is a very good and reassuring feeling. I wish I could share it.

What would the world be like if we all believed that we each have everything we need? I think pretty good.

I don't really want to come back as a chihuahua, because neurotic women often have chihuahuas. Best to be a tree. Maybe I will be cut down and turned into a book of poetry. With the internet though, its more likely I would be turned into toilet paper. But hey, I would still be helping to clean up dhuky, right?

Its beautiful in florida tonight. I still don't have my boat. This Sunday I move to a different hostel. I am happy with my life and secure in the knowledge that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, even if I don't always like it. I have great streaming reggae whenever I need it, what else could I ask for?

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