Prime directive

Sometimes it seems like almost all the people in my life either have a big self that gets between us when we talk, or they want to change me somehow. Life is so much simpler when you let go of your self. Let go of wanting, trying to control, worrying. Just be, and be with those you choose to be with. Just be when you walk, when you talk, when you listen. Yesterday is history, and tomorrow's a mystery, so now is all we have. Stay there, it makes things easier for everyone.

And as far as changing me goes, forget it. Bigger men than you have tried and failed. It ain't gonna happen. I am who and what I am by choice, and my god says it is okay. So who do you think I'm going to listen to, the living force of all reality, or you?

My friend didn't go to train today. She said she was feeling too bad to stand all afternoon. She didn't call. She said she will go back to Paris. That's ok, I just feel sad because she is still feeling bad. And I am afraid that she is going to continue feeling bad instead of doing something about it. It sucks sometimes when people you love hurt themselves. But there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just sad that she's still not happy. She will figure it out though, and I will be her friend.

So, my life goes on. Life perpetuates itself. Living things heal themselves. I was serious about just being. One of my many mottos, most of which I have picked up from somewhere, is take only pictures, leave only footprints. I think that was the essence of the star trek prime directive, and maybe the oath doctors take... first do no harm. Hippocratic oath? Funny name.

It really does make life simpler. If you don't have to make anything happen, just suit up, show up, and trust in god, things work out. So I guess that's all I have to say tonight. Don't worry, be happy. Just be... here... now.