Funny...

If you don't get attached to results... if you say and act toward what you want and let god make things happen the way he wants, things work out so much better.

My friend is not 100% yet, but this morning I found her eating a banana and drinking tea without anyone asking her to. Tonight, she was herself again. She had decided to return to Paris. We talked about what was good about that decision, we talked about things she could do if she chose to stay here.

This morning before I left for work she told me they were leaving on the 25th. Thanksgiving. She would be gone before I returned from Philly. I told her cool. She said she would give me a key to her apartment so I could use it until the owner arrived from Austrailia mid-December.

I was so sad. I went to work knowing it was a good decision for her to go back, and knowing that I would be fine. I am a survivor; a cat, like my mom says, I always land on my feet. But it made me sad to think of not having my friend, my family anymore. I remembered losing Kenny, my sun-god chihuahua, and my soul-mate, the only woman I have ever shared real love with, and I felt old. Old, but grateful. These loves that I have been blessed with have given me so much. Self-respect, tolerance and patience for others, and an experience of love that I can give to others. Love without expectations. A simple joie de vive.

So, I haven't been able to figure out what anyone in this apartment wants. They keep their feelings close to their chests. I have been trying to get her oldest son to cut my hair for four days. He keeps saying ok, and never does it. So tonight I decided to cut my own damn hair. I have to learn how anyway, right?

So I'm about to go into the bathroom, and the phone rings. It is one of the places my friend applied, and they want her to come and train tomorrow. I cut my own hair. I only screwed it up a little over my left ear. Not too noticible, I think. After I shower, I find all three of them looking at apartments on the internet. They are smiling. I am happy. I haven't seen them act happy together for over a week.

So maybe they will stay. Maybe we will keep being a family for a minute. And maybe not. Only god knows, but I I know everything will be okay no matter what happens. God's will is perfect, god's will is sufficient. I want to live in his house.

Clear skys and cool salty breezes. No worries :)