God is dog spelled backwards

I think I need to write about the woman who owns my restuarant with her husband. More than one person, other than myself, has described her as "evil". And she is... I'm not going to try to define evil, other than to say that it is a way of being that is not fun.

She seems to find her pleasure, her jouix de vivre, in finding fault with the world around her. If you think about it, what she is doing is creating a world where everything is wrong. In fact, she is pretty much right when it comes to the restuarant, but I can't help wondering how much of it is so because she expects it to be that way?

I have been texting a friend, trying to describe my experience of life at this moment. I said that the beatles were right, love really is all there is. Life is full of dhuki, but love is what happens when things move. Dhuki is what you experience while you wait, or when you are not receptive.

I like to think of life as a carnival ride; it happens very fast, and sometimes you get scared. But you paid your admission, and you climbed aboard, and I am pretty sure that in the end, you get what you paid for. And I am sad for those who don't put their arms up and love their fear. After all, that's what you paid for.

I also told my friend that there is nothing to worry about. That my life is proof that no matter how much you let go, you will always be taken care of. You get what you need every day. Every one of us can be assured that if we live honestly, doing good to the best of our ability, with what ever we have, at any given moment, we will not cease to exist. We will be lifted up, and supported in becomming what we are meant to be.

So I continue to struggle with this woman. She hates me with a passion, and everyone at the restuarant knows it. Yet, I am their rock for the day shift. And when two 10 tops came in today, 20 minutes apart, she helped run food. It goes back to both of us misunderstanding on some level. I am a professional, I have a great resume, I look ok, and I communicate well. Yet still, I am stuck in this restuarant hell, and things continue to get better. I have no idea why I am here, but I am, and god seems to want me to stay. This woman hates me, but hate is an emotional tie. She is connected to me, and as much as we would both like to never see each other again, I am affraid we have some business to work out.

Life goes on... the guy with the dog? His tatoos are really cool, and the dog let me love him when he was affraid to go into the surf. He just kept comming back to me. Remember, dog is god spelled backwards. Dogs are angels on earth. If you are loved by one, you have some good in you. Be happy, and look for dogs to be friends with.