I have been in the buisness for 13 years now, and I think it is starting to affect my personality. Tonight I noticed that I compulsively made sure everything on the tables in my section was exactly the same, and perfectly positioned (emphasis on the word "compulsively")...
When I came home, I had a new roommate; a roughly 22 year old italian guy, who left his toiletries and personal items ALL over the bathroom. After I noted to my two questionable roommates that "this isn't going to work...", I tidied up a bit...
No one yelled at me, but the kid was sleeping.
I am also tuned-in to people's emotional responses like I haven't been since I was a helpless seven year old trying to cope with my mother's new gigantic husband who happened to have kind of an ugly problem with anger and control.
He is my brother's father, and maybe he is okay now, but honestly, I realy don't care to know. Let the dead stay dead. And rest in peace.
I noticed my personality change when I confronted my current roomate about his illeagal drug use. I gave ten years of my life to that bitch, and I refuse to have her anywhere near me again, in any form. I actually said "you'd better watch your fucking ass". I laugh at myself now, but I was, and am, totally serious. I'm not going back there ever again.
So I am finally relaxing. It is 2:30, and I plan to put my truck back together tomorrow afternoon. One 7/16 inch bolt stands between me and putting her back together. I'm buying a nutcracker for $11.99 in the morning, and that baby is comming off.
This is a long term project, but it is in progress. Someone told me she read my blog, from the beginning, that she is up to the point where I got my good job... and she liked it.
I do remember my opening prayer, and I continue to write with the hope that it will help, just a little, someone who finds themselves where I was a year and a half ago. It is kind of like the ship's journal of those poor guys who made it through an antartic winter on a sailboat a couple of hundred years ago. Sort of, but not quite...
Just met a guy who's from lower manhatten, currently doing lighting and sound for the local theater... life goes on, right?
Keep on keeping on my friend!
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