Every once in awhile I try to remember the seven deadly sins. Tonight I couldn't remember two, so I looked it up on the web. I was forgetting lust and wrath. I'm okay with lust. I've been celibate for quite awhile now, but there was a time when I really had to deal with lust.
Wrath, though is the one I conveniently forgot. There are some very unjust and stressful things happening around me right now, and I've found myself having fantasies of righteous indignation and divine retribution. I know that's vague, but frankly, the details are none of your business.
The first point is that it is amazing how our minds justify ourselves. Without careful oversight we can thoughtlessly do really mean things and totally believe we are right to do them. I'm not talking about oversight from others, I mean watching ourselves. Monitoring my emotional state. When I get angry or fearful, it is a flag that something is wrong. It is up to me to figure out what it is. And that's the tricky part, because my mind is hardwired to believe I am right about my assumptions. In fact, assumptions can become "facts" in the blink of an eye. But I'm pretty sure I've made this point before.
The second thing is that there are also seven cardinal virtues which overcome the seven deadly sins. Patience is the cure for wrath. Two ways to look at it. Am I being vengeful? Am I lacking patience? Same coin, same common denominator inhibiting my spiritual growth.
I haven't been writing because I don't want to share some things with people who will make assumptions about me and my life. God is the only one who I answer to, the only one who can judge me. Nevertheless, people make judgements everyday. They create a map in their minds of their reality. It helps them be good people for the most part, and I speak only about those I know. Every one does it; creates a model of the world and its workings. That's how we function and create. In my opinion though, the very smart among us recognize that the map in their heads is not the true state of things, but is filtered and distorded to varying degrees by the context of our own lives.
The map is not the territory. If you try to define the devine you will fail. Reality, the truth, god, is bigger than our heads. Our heads are defined by god, yet we endlessly try to believe that we know what is the truth. Humans are peculiar. Once I know something, I an very reluctant to unknow it and believe otherwise.
I believe that I know nothing. The things I think are facts can become lies or illusions at any moment. I only trust the god that speaks to me from within. One thing though, I can always find; love. Whether it is the love of an electron for its nucleus, the love that makes water seek itself, or the love I feel everyday at work, at home, from my soulmate, and from that divine spirit that creates my reality. To quote the Beatles, "love is all there is".
So I bookmarked the wikipedia page of the seven deadly sins and the seven cardinal virtues. When life is crazy, it is good to have some guidelines.
